How to "make a person become your willing love slave"

As I've mentioned before, a man as devilishly handsome as I rarely has problems with the ladies.

I gather that's not true for all of you.

(Image credit)

But fear not! Finbarr International are willing to help, according to their latest advert.

"PEN & PAPER MAGIC IS THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS! ... It can bring you romance... it can make a person become your willing love slave (you think we're kidding? Just try it!)"

For some people, a new... err, "relationship" is the furthest thing from their minds.

If some cruel wench has recently shattered your heart into a million pieces, the advert advises

"...if you want to teach someone a lesson for doing you wrong it can exact revenge (but be careful; this stuff can be pretty devastating)."

There's not much more I can add to that. Since I wasn't willing to "please send us only £12.99", you'll all have to sort out your own problems. ASA complaint follows!

"I write to complain about an advert appearing in "Old Moore's Almanack (2011)" (2011 edition, published in June 2010, p21).

The advert, for Finbarr International, promotes a book called "PEN & PAPER MAGIC".

I suspect that the advert may be in breach of several sections of the British Code of Advertising, Sales Promotion and Direct Marketing (CAP) code (2010). I enclose a scan of the advert.

1. The advert offers the following résumé of the book:

"PEN AND PAPER MAGIC IS THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS! It is the answer because it is so simple! And so effective! Anyone can do it! You can be sick in bed and do it! AND THE MAGIC INVOKED IS POWERFUL! It is the same powerful magic employed by the wizards of old!"

2. Under Section 3.7 of the CAP Code (2010) I challenge whether the advertiser can substantiate any of the following claims, and under Section 3.8 I challenge whether the claims "exaggerate the value, accuracy, scientific validity or practical usefulness" of the advertised book:

(i) "Pen and Paper Magic" can cause "regular bingo & lottery wins!"
(ii) "Pen and Paper Magic" can "make a person become your willing love slave (you think we're kidding? Just try it!)"
(iii) "Pen and Paper Magic" can "bring you money - seemingly out of thin air! ... It can make people want to give you money and presents..."
(iv) "Pen and Paper Magic" can be used to "exact revenge" whenever you "want to teach someone a lesson for doing you wrong...(but be careful; this stuff can be devastating)".
(v) "Pen and Paper Magic" can be used to "OBTAIN MONEY QUICKLY - WITHOUT WAITING!"
(vi) "Pen and Paper Magic" can be used to "GET RICH AND WEALTHY!"
(vii) "Pen and Paper Magic" can be used to "OBTAIN JUSTICE!"
(viii) "Pen and Paper Magic" can be used to "EXACT REVENGE IN MONEY MATTERS!"
(ix) "Pen and Paper Magic" can be used to "EXACT REVENGE FOR ANY INJUSTICE!"

3. Under Section 16.3.15 of the Code, I challenge whether the advert "exploit[s] cultural beliefs or traditions about gambling or luck".

4. I confirm that I have no connections with the advertiser or the magazine. I confirm that I am not involved in legal proceedings with the advertiser or the magazine."